Trusting in God when Praying: Listening to the “No”

In Bethsaida, while speaking to a crowd- who listened faithfully – the disciples said,

“Send the crowd away, so they can go into the surrounding villages and countryside to find food and lodging, because we are in a deserted place here. But He said to them, “You give them something to eat.” And they said, “We have no more than five loaves and two fish, unless we go and buy food for all these people.” For there were about five thousand men.

Then He said to His disciples, “Make them sit down in groups of fifty.” And they did so, and made them all sit down. Then He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, He blessed and broke them, and gave them to the disciples to set before the multitude. So they all ate and were filled, and twelve baskets of the leftover fragments were taken up by them.” (Luke 9:13-17 NKJV)

He said no to the disciples. He gave His instructions clearly and firmly, and even though His disciples did not fully understand the depth of His message at that moment, they obeyed and were blessed to witness the power of God. They could only see a fraction of the larger picture.

The trust here is the most important part. He has earned our trust. When we read, we see example after example, both in the Old Testament and the New Testament, of how God provides. So, where does the control come in? Where does that seep into our thoughts and introduce ideas like worry, nervousness, and anxiousness? If I’m drilling down on this in myself, and forced to examine it, I see this as my biggest weakness. And man, does the enemy know it!

God directed His disciples not to worry about food, and with full trust from these men, He was able to provide. How many times have I doubted His provision simply because I was standing in His way? It was during my journey to parenthood that I reached a point of exhaustion—too weary to keep trying to control everything. I had been so focused on what I thought I knew, on the life I had planned, that I failed to see I was never meant to carry it all. I was called to bring my few loaves, but only He could perform the miracle.

I was meant to work hard, of course, but not at things I could not control. When I let go, I released all the stress of trying to control my life.

Finally, a path was paved for me to go back to school—this time, to study religion.

Finally, when my grandmother passed away, I was able to see light instead of darkness—a darkness that had always surrounded death for me.

Finally, I was pregnant. But now, I was healthy. Moments I never thought I would experience in my lifetime.

Finally, I was slowing down, something I had wanted to do for a while. But now, I was financially stable enough to do so. Before this, I had been running at a level of burnout.

Finally, I was able to breathe. But this didn’t come without trusting Him, learning very hard lessons in life, and enduring a lot of pain.

There were many times I tried to pursue these things, but the timing wasn’t right for them to happen. When God got involved, everything was seamless and easy, fully under His control. Let me be clear—this is not wealth and health theology. Rather, this is about how life becomes easier and better when we surrender it to Him, even through the hard moments. It’s about finding the light when there’s none around you. It is NOT about perfection.

Even now, I struggle with longing for certain aspects of my life to change or unfold before their time. I find myself wanting these things sooner than God is orchestrating them. It’s hard. When I’m struggling with this, I wish I could say I immediately turn to my Bible—and eventually, I do—but it takes a moment. First, I try to process my emotions. After struggling for a day or two, I remember my instruction manual for life—the Bible. That’s when I snap myself out of the emotional spiral and return to God’s wisdom.

“But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.” – Matthew 6:6 NKJV

I’m not saying life is easy, but when we rest in God and His promises, we realize He has us. We draw closer to Him—not for the payout, but for the relationship. Even Jesus had His rough days, but no amount of self-help theology or worldly phrases can do what He does for us. The difference is that He loves us. He meets each of us right where we are. It is in this love that we must trust when we pray, or else our prayers are just words. We must trust His Word.

My challenge to you is to find a way to return to Him and your Bible sooner than you may be doing when life hands you those longings or those proverbial lemons. Get a planner, set a timer. If you long for change, redirect that longing toward His Word and surrender it to Him. There are some things only God can do. When you can’t pray, read His Word and pray it back to Him. Let the Holy Spirit advocate for you by drawing you closer to God.

Because of the depth of this study, the readings below are great resources for drawing closer:

• I have included a book about Mother Teresa. This remarkable woman struggled greatly as she poured herself into those around her. I recommend reading this to understand we are human- we can only carry certain things with God’s help.

• Never Alone is a book about understanding the Holy Spirit. It provides a more in-depth exercise of how to draw closer to this part of God.

• I Surrender All is a level-up book, I Surrender All is a level-up book that brings us closer to Him while also deepening our understanding. Get ready- This one is a rollercoaster!